Change of Plans

Change of plans.

As seems to be the case so often.

I’m a toddler mom, so that makes things super unpredictable. Then there’s just the way life seems to throw curveballs, over and over again. There’s definitely a reason for one of my fave saying, “I make plans and God laughs.” And then there’s what happened with the Healthy Empath class. I debated sharing , but in favor of solidarity, reminding you that you’re not alone, and permission to change your mind too… here I go.

I hosted the Healthy Empath class this past weekend. In many ways it was beautiful, fun and lit me up. Then there was the flip side. I haven’t used slides in years, but followed a creative full moon surge to make some. The technology aspect of actually presenting then was not in my zone of genius. It took me out of the present moment and away from my intentions for holding the space. It took time, energy and focus away from what was important.

I didn’t feel aligned with the overall flow of the class and had already announced I would be sending out a replay. I chose to sit with it. I’m big on shifting from problem to possibility based mindset. I came up with a plan (again with the plans!) to send it out anyway and be impeccable with my word. I announced I would do a write up of the parts I skimmed over.

Feeling into it zapped my energy. I needed some major time Sunday to decompress. I shut it all down and make the choice to not make any decisions about how to proceed that night. I took the space to feel the lows and the self doubt. I tried distractions, but  my thoughts kept traveling back to it. So I gave myself the night. I went to sleep super grounded, chose to let it go, just for now. I affirmed that when I woke up in the morning I would feel into the possibilities.

I woke up swirling with ideas. I could send it out, but also send out the complementary materials. I could send the replay and also a short video series of the materials. I could send it out and also host the class again. Nothing felt quite right, because it didn’t feel aligned to send the recording.

I got vulnerable with the women in my mastermind and they held space as I worked out what was really in my heart. I felt into what was I scared of. Disappointing others. Funny how after so much work and so many shifts, that still creeps back in sometimes. I realized I was pulling the ol empath move of considering how my actions could possibly impact others, ahead of following my heart and guidance. I felt into what I would advise a dear friend or client. I asked myself what I really wanted and reminded myself “I can do whatever I want.” I remembered that it’s ok to change my mind and do things differently than I first planned (God laughing, again).

If something doesn’t feel aligned, I have the power to choose a different way. I remembered I need to be impeccable with my word to myself first.

Can you relate?

I ultimately chose to strike the replay and host the class again, As soon I made that decision, I lit up like crazy, I felt the angels all around me celebrating, I felt the constriction in my chest and breath be replaced with expansion. All the doubts were gone. I felt confident and trusting and knew it was the best next step.

I feel great about this and am so excited to host the Healthy Empath class, the reprise, this Thursday. No slides. signup here