Once upon a time, on my sugar free eve.

OMG! 1 YEAR SUGAR FREE!

As I find myself looking back on this past year, SUGAR FREE, I am filled with pride and a huge feeling of accomplishment. Plenty of times I've sabatoged finishing what I set out to do, but here I am shining in all my beautiful sugar free me glory. I got out of my own way, shut down the self talk and told myself - you can do it! And I was right - I can do it and I did do it! Wooo Hooo!!! I am going to spend the next couple weeks sharing how, what I learned and the struggles I overcame along the way. It wasn't always easy - especially in the beginning. But if this sugar addict can do this, I know I can do anything. I also know that you can do anything! I had so much support along the way, I couldn't have done it alone and I didn't. And neither do you. Whether it's getting off the sugar sauce or whatever your goal, you are supported! Just reach out, because there are plenty of us beside and also above ready to walk (or fly!) by your side. 

I'll be back next week with more on this topic, I really believe it's important to share this journey with you, my beautiful tribe. This week, I'm sharing something I wrote a year ago. 
 

The Sugar Free Eve (November 12, 2014)

In my past the release from sugar got me off 13 medications. I knew that it was toxic for me. Getting off of it changed my life. It was the beginning of me waking up from a life long fog. And here I find myself 7 years later with the same toxin in me, but it's worse. It's worse because I know better now. It's been my little secret. The one that if I ignored long enough would go away.  Being hooked on sugar has been holding me back from being my most authentic self.  It's the missing piece. When I gave up cigarettes, I replaced it with giving into my  sugar temptation. I pretended I was healed from my sugar sensitivities. that my body would no longer react strangely from it's presence. I never loved how I felt after eating it, especially the morning after, but going down it felt oh so good. It felt good to be bad. But, I have a sneaking suspicion it will feel even better to be great.

My last request before going off the sauce was a coconut cake donut and a pumpkin old fashioned from Stan's Donuts. Knowing that my sugar cleanse starts tomorrow and I am looking forward to a lifetime of feeling good and healthy eating, one last binge didn't sound SO terrible.  I called my boyfriend and asked him to stop on his way home.  So why was I reduced to tears? Because they were out of BOTH!!! The shock. The horror. The heartache. He did bring home pumpkin gelato. And although, I know I could enjoy that later, it is the furtherest thing on my mind on a 30 degree November last night with sugar.  To be totally honest with myself and allow myself permission to feel what I'm feeling, this hurts. I'm scared. I have a powerful craving.  And pumpkin gelato is not going to do the trick. I feel pissed off at Mike. Did he do anything wrong? Not at all. He went out of his way to fulfill my last request. It's not his fault they were out. But why didn't he call me? I would have gotten something else. A regular old fashioned, a glazed or a cinnamon roll. I have a whole line of backups if my original order couldn't be placed. But to come home with gelato when I sent him for donuts is making me explode internally with rage. I'm afraid that if I didn't have this outlet of writing, I would be exploding on him. I am furious! AND IT IS RIDICULOUS. But as I write this I am realizing it's not Mike I'm mad at.  I'm upset that I HAVE THIS ADDICTION. That the thought of not getting these last 2 donuts could spiral me into a low vibration.  So here I am with racing thoughts of this downhill no last sugar spiral. Should I go to a local bakery and stuff my face? Of course not, but it sounded tempting for a minute. And now here comes the bargaining. I just decided to do this today. So why am I starting tomorrow. It's crazy right? Maybe I could pick a different start date. I am second guessing myself like crazy!

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to set myself up for success!

Instead of approaching this from a place of a giving up, I choose to focus on what I'm gaining. My gut and butt need some healing. I would feel so happy and clean and grateful and accomplished if I was treating my body with the honor it deserves.  My body is a gift from God, a temple for my soul to live in and experience all the beauty life has to offer. I need to remember above all that I am doing this, because I LOVE ME!

I know that the way to get through this is with excellent self care. Keeping my spiritual practices on point. Write, Read, Meditate, Pray, Practice Gratitude, Practice Yoga, Set Intentions, Manifest the outcome I Desire. I will get through this because I have reached out to others and asked for help. I have people that have been through this supporting me, I have people that are getting clean along side me. I have support and love from everyone both Above and beside. I will get through this elegantly and gracefully, because I CHOOSE TO! I always have a choice and this is one of the best I've ever made. I WILL DO THIS!

What if from now on I am free? What if I let go of the desire for the sweet? What if I am sweet enough? What if I do this easily and effortlessly? What if I get so much more than I ever thought possible in return? What if this cures my stomach issues? What if I can think more clearly? What is this allows me to use my time more efficiently? 

Why am I so grateful and happy that I am following my heart completely?! Why do I feel such gratitude and love that I am now honoring myself?!

I deserve to live a beautiful, authentic life. I am worthy of beautiful things happening to me. I deserve to feel amazing from the inside out.

I'd love to read your comments and feedback below.

Thank you all for reading, commenting and participating.
I am so grateful that we have each other for support. Also a big thanks to everyone at the Beautiful Sugar Free Me facebook group, the support there was instrumental in getting me started on this journey.

Intentional Breathing Meditation

This one helps me everytime! Find yourself a comfortable position, either seated or laying down. Set a timer for 3 to 10 minutes. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Inhale and exhale, deeply and fully. Silently repeat with your breath.

Inhale "Clarity"
Exhale "Confidence"

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Dear Sisters! I'm hosting an inperson Woman's Circle on November 22 in Chicago, IL.  I would love to sit with you in circle. If you are new to this - think spiritual workshop. This month we will be feeling into gratitude and fully receiving. Us women are great at giving. However there is an important balance, a give and take. Allow me to hold space as you lean into fully receiving with an open grateful heart. 

Spots are limited for this event, as a small and intimate circle is in alignment with the work we will be doing. Use the link below to donate what feels right to you, this will hold your space. 

22nd November 2015 | 1:00PM | $22 Suggested Donation
OuterSpace Studios | 1474 N. Milwaukee Chicago, IL

Click here to donate any amount to hold your space.