PAIN: lessons and reminders

Have you ever been in so much pain, it makes you feel completely nauseous? Throughout my life, so many of my big lessons have come through physical pain and illness. So I’m equipped with many tools, and know how mind/body/spirit is impacted by it. But I forgot how disorienting pain truly is, but it’s all coming back.

2 weeks and 2 days ago my foot was crushed. It happened the night before CG’s seizure after the Phish show. How interesting that with everything going on with her, I completely forgot about the huge guy who fell/passed out on me, crushing my foot under a huge shoe and all his weight, I was screaming and couldn’t push him off of me. It took a couple friends to notice and get him off. Normally after a show I have time to process everything. Remember the songs and all the moments and my thoughts and feelings and connections and the energy given and received. But with everything with CG the next day, that never happened.

I definitely noticed my foot aching though. I went to the podiatrist twice since. Have a surgery scheduled next month. Moved the start date for my upcoming mastermind back a month so I could hold space for my own healing. It’s the same foot that I lost a big toe nail a couple months ago and that I’ve had a ton of shots in for a neuroma. So I’ve been really feeling into that and working on learning the associated lesson, so I can move on. I’ve been in a state of curiosity. And the memory of that guy falling on me just came back this weekend. Looking forward to another dr appointment today and hopefully a proper diagnosis and better treatment plan. Bc what I’ve been doing has only been making it worse.

All of this while holding space for the little one. This little Virgo is ruled by Mercury, so she’s really been feeling the retrograde and doesn’t yet have the tools to cope. Plus she’s just at that age when she’s really feeling all her emotions so fully and going through big developmental leaps. It’s been meltdown and attachment city. And it’s been very... interesting... around here. 😅

We’re working on self care this morning as a very welcome distraction. We had a bath and now trying a face mask from @lushcosmetics

Wanted to share bc it’s important to remind each other that whatever we’re going through, we’re not alone. No matter what things look like on social media, life is full of contrast. And it’s important to honor where we are. Mike, CG and I have plenty of challenges, but we keep on moving through them together. I really do celebrate that. It’s ok to be hurting and also celebrating. We can be frustrated and still have so much gratitude. We can be in pain and still focus on self love and care. Whatever it is you’re currently challenged by... sending you lots of love and a reminder that it’s ok to be ok inspite if it. It’s ok to not always be ok too. Love you. Big hug.