Processing...

We absolutely feel everyone’s love. A most heartfelt Thank You! Still processing, feeling borderline PTSDy at the moment. It’s still so fresh and raw.

CG doesn’t seem to remember anything before the hospital - which is good. And doesn’t seem to be traumatized by the hospital experience either, which was pretty intense. She keeps telling us that she’s brave. And is pretty proud that she got an ambulance ride. She’s been extra clingy today, which is more than fine with me. I’m feeling that way too. She had 2 fever spikes, one high and one low grade... but she’s ok. We’re doing around the clock fever maintenance switching off Tylenol and Motrin every 3 hours. Normally I’m not about that med life, but this feels completely aligned at this very moment. Looking forward to our follow-up appointment and getting more educated about all of this. The best news is she’s back to telling us all what to do.

Bear didn’t eat his first of 3 meals until 7pm - he’s a total empath like the rest of us, so makes sense But totally weird for him. And Mike and I are a mix of grateful, connected, relieved, emotional, sensitive, aware of both our incredible strength and our complete vulnerability as parents, and more in love with her than ever. It feels like the air is thick and heavy and we’re moving and processing slower than ever. But we are moving through it... together.

There is something in me that is changed forever from this experience. I think Mike is feeling it too. I hope I can continue channeling the feeling of so very close to loss into the deepest appreciation not just for my baby and family, but for all things. Huge ass things happen for huge ass reasons and I have every intention of making this count.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, offering support, sending love, your prayers, your wisdom, your energetic hugs. All of it feels so important and honestly it feels really good to be held though this. Thank you.

Breathing. And grateful. Holding the LG close. Passing on all of your love.